May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to focus on mental wellness for our keiki and ʻohana and reaffirm Kamehameha Schools’ shared commitment to support well-being year-round. But for families juggling school, sports and everything in between, that goal doesn’t always come easily.

More often, it shows up as a quiet question: Is this just a phase or is it something more?

For Robert Sepulveda, those questions are part of the work he does every day with middle school students at Kamehameha Schools Kapālama. In his role as a behavioral health specialist, he sees how quickly things can shift during these years, how a small stress point can grow, or how something deeper can go unnoticed.

“Anxiety is natural in every one of us,” Sepulveda said. “But when it becomes pervasive…and it’s affecting their moods and their ability to function… then you might have to say… is this going beyond what we would consider a normal range?”

That distinction matters because middle school is already a time of big emotions. Haumāna are navigating friendships, expectations and identity — all while trying to figure out where they belong. When those challenges carry into the school day, Sepulveda said, they can affect everything from focus to energy.

What makes this harder is that many students won’t say anything at all.

“A lot of times students do not want to share,” Sepulveda said. “They don’t want to trouble their parents… or they feel like their issues don’t really matter.”

From the outside, they may still be showing up and getting their work done. But internally, they may be carrying more than we realize. And when families begin exploring support beyond school, one of the biggest hurdles is simply understanding where to start.

Sepulveda said even the roles themselves can feel confusing. Psychiatrists, for example, are medical doctors who diagnose and often focus on medication management. Psychologists typically hold doctoral degrees and specialize in psychological assessment, testing, and psychotherapy. Therapists (an umbrella term) can include licensed counselors or social workers who focus on talk therapy and skill-building.

There’s overlap and no single right entry point. What matters most is finding a provider who fits your child’s needs, even if it takes time, research or trying more than one option.

So, if you are starting to explore that next step, Sepulveda offers a few ways to begin at home:

Pay attention to patterns, not just moments.
It’s not unusual for students to feel stress or turmoil in certain situations. The shift comes when those feelings begin to show up more consistently and start impacting how they function day to day.

“Don’t just ignore it as if it’s nothing,” Sepulveda said. “Take a look at it… is my child in distress, and will they need the help?”

Create space for conversation.
Even when students are struggling, they may not say it aloud. Some hold back because they don’t want to add stress at home or because they feel their concerns aren’t significant enough to share. But if mākua can model behavior like exploring their own emotions, keiki build their confidence to do the same.

“If you… can make yourself even semi-vulnerable to say ‘Hey… sometimes we struggle, too,’ it really helps,” Sepulveda said.

When those conversations feel safe and mutual, it becomes easier for students to open up instead of holding things in.

Reframe what “getting help” really means.
For many families, seeking support can feel like something has gone wrong. But Sepulveda emphasizes that the goal isn’t to fix a child. It’s to better understand and support them.

“The answers are somewhere inside … and it’s how we as counselors elicit that out of them,” Sepulveda said. “I can’t give you any secret knowledge. That healing comes from within.”

At Ke Kula o Kamehameha, haumāna and their ʻohana are supported by specialists like Sepulveda who create a space where students can slow down, reflect and begin to see what is possible for themselves. For additional resources: https://www.ksbe.edu/malama-ola/student-support-guide

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