Mālama Ola Minute: How child-led play builds confident keiki

Sept. 8, 2025

In many classrooms, play is often seen as a break during a long school day. But for young keiki, it’s how learning and healing happen.
At Kamehameha Schools Preschools, behavioral health specialists work closely with haumāna across 30 campuses to support their well-being. Through play, kamaliʻi are given the space to express big feelings, explore relationships and build confidence in a safe, developmentally appropriate way.

“We're working with such little keiki, so they may not always have the words to explain their fears or anxieties,” Dinah Childress, a KSP behavioral health specialist, said. “What’s wonderful about play is that they might be able to use it as a form of expressing something they’ve experienced.”

Play often gives us clues to what keiki are carrying. One child, after witnessing a medical emergency at home, spent months reenacting sirens, ambulances and fire trucks. By the end of the school year, they were able to share how the story concluded: everyone was safely back at home.
This kind of play isn’t random but a way for their young minds to process. Repetition and imagination help littles understand what’s happened or what they’re still trying to make sense of. These small shifts in play often signal real understanding taking place.

Child-led time matters

‘Ohana don’t need special tools or clinical training to support a child’s emotional development. One of the most accessible ways to do this is by offering special playtime: five to 10 minutes where the child leads the activity and the adult follows without distractions.
“It’s natural for adults to ask a lot of questions,” preschool behavioral health specialist Jessica Ando-Kajiwara said. “But it’s really this undivided attention for keiki…where parents can really be more reflective about what they’re seeing play out.”

Even if keiki don’t want to talk or play that day, simply sitting nearby with them sends a powerful message: I’m here with you.

“I know we want to run and grab a new toy or board game but just give them your time,” Childress said. “That is the number one thing you give for your children — no TVs, no cellphones — just your time.”

This kind of connection lays the foundation for more than just emotional safety. It also helps keiki practice real-world skills.

Play as preparation for life

Play is also where keiki learn how to wait, share and solve problems with others — all skills that will carry them well beyond childhood.

“Walking through our preschools, they have their classrooms set up for play and social interactions,” specialist Whitney Hatayama said. “However, there’s also a lot of learning going on at the same time.”

Educators often guide play to help children work through everyday challenges. At home, caregivers can do the same to support emotional awareness. Assigning feelings to colors in board games like Candy Land can spark conversation. Landing on blue might mean sharing something that made you feel calm. Green? A time you felt proud.

“I think people will look at it like ʻIt’s just play. They’re just playing,’” Shannon Flynn, the behavioral health supervisor across KS Preschools, said. “And I think that’s such a huge myth because they are learning, growing and developing through play. They are figuring out so much about themselves and the world and others around them.”

ʻThere’s no age limit for play’

While the preschool years are a key window for social and emotional development, the benefits of play last a lifetime. Teens and adults can also find relief and connection in creative outlets like art, music, movement or even just quiet time spent with loved ones.

“Parents deserve that time, too,” Childress said. “I get, there’s a lot to do — there’s vacuuming and laundry and, oh my goodness, all this — but you also deserve that time as a parent. It is just as healing for you as it is for your child.”

Play isn’t something extra to fit in when the “real work” is done. For keiki, play is the work of learning, connecting and healing. It gives children the space to express what they feel, explore who they are and the habits they will need in life.

“Learning cannot take place when a child is not socially or emotionally grounded,” Hatayama said. “That’s what makes play so foundational.”

As Ke Kula ʻo Kamehameha continues to uplift the overall well-being of our haumāna, play reminds us that some of the most powerful supports don’t require anything new: just time, attention and space for keiki to lead.