As KS Maui senior Saydi Bulosan shares, our journey of faith is not linear and while no two paths are the same, what remains constant is Ke Akua’s love for us. Throughout the month of May we continue to share devotionals from our haumāna. We encourage you to share their manaʻo your own ʻohana and friends!
Contributed by KS Maui senior Saydi Bulosan
Ka Ipu o Lono shares weekly devotionals to provide spiritual enrichment to members of the Kamehameha Schools ‘ohana. For more inspiration, visit the KS “Our faith” website.
Akā, ke noho mau nei nō hoʻi au me ʻoe;
Ua paʻa mai ʻoe iaʻu ma kuʻu lima ʻākau.
- Halelū 73:23
Yet I am always with you;
You hold me by my right hand.
- Psalm 73:23
He manaʻo o ka haumāna
In the early years of my life, I had the mindset of protection, hope, and faith with me always. I was baptized in the Catholic Church of St. Anthony of Padua. Back then, I attended church every Sunday, read daily devotionals, and engaged in church events. Not until my exposure to the media and times of growing up that I strayed away from my faith.
I was learning new information about the theories of the world. I was invested in manifestation, which is a correlating form of prayer. With my growing mind, I was easily influenced by opinions around me, molding my thoughts of my faith, Catholic faith, and God into mush. I had lost all connection with my protection, hope, and faith. Who could I rely on when I was going through a tough time? Was it the people around me? No, they don’t know me. Was it the people who knew me? No, they don’t deserve to deal with my problems. Was it myself? I guess I must do this all on my own. Through this time, perceiving life on my own, I experienced the most conflict with myself I have ever endured. I had no one to turn to, no one to rely on, no one to ensure my protection no matter what cost. I had a self-realization. I needed a change, or maybe a reconciliation with Ke Akua.
Recently, experiences I have been blessed with have helped me to realize I wasn’t capable of these things on my own. Since the day I was born, in the early stages of my life, God has been with me. Even through my loss of faith, God has never left my side. He has never lost faith in me. I took small steps towards allowing Ke Akua back into my life. What did it take to believe in him? It took courage, love, and trust. In this scripture I offered above, it conveys my exact situation. God was always there for me, but in my control. He could only reveal himself when I trusted my faith. As I conquer each day, I reconnect with Ke Akua. I strengthen my relationship with the one up above, and I thank him for giving me the blessings of life. Like the moon, Ke Akua has found a way to shine through the darkness of my life. He has shown himself and proved that he has always been here. He has been right by my side, holding my hand.
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